The Diss Track
by Trashcactiqueen
Summary: A little one shot Based on Dan's "Roast yourself challenge" video (phan shipping)


"You don't think all those things you said are really true do you?" Phil sat out of frame as Dan fiddled about with the camera. Pausing, Dan stammered a faint reply, "Not all of them and I exaggerated of course. It's just a joke, don't worry". Phil smirked "Personally, I like your noodle body" Dan turned away to hide his blushing face, was Phil flirting with him?

"We're both noodles"

"But you're taller, you're King noodle" There was a brief silence.

"What are you going on about?" Both of them erupted into laughter, Dan's loud barking laugh harmonising with Phil's almost silent one. Glancing over at Phil, Dan realised how much he would miss him if he were gone, miss the way he covers his mouth when he laughs, miss his outlook on life, just all of him. He would miss all of him.

Sighing he lugged the chaotic tangle of wires and recording equipment on to the bed and appealed for Phil to help him. Phil smiled and began to tug on the wires, not really making much of a difference but Dan didn't mind. He was nervous about this video, for heavens sake he might as well have a tattoo on his face saying "Gay for Phil" after admitting that Evan Peters was his celebrity crush. Their hands touched briefly as they grappled over a microphone and Dan's heart skipped so many beats he wondered if he was actually going to die. Just another reason why Dan's a fail - he's hopelessly in love with his best friend and roommate. Phil's hair flopped in front of his face, even without styling, dark and perfectly straight. "Unlike me" Dan joked bitterly and he had to disguise his laugh with something that ended up being an unconvincing hybrid between a sneeze and a cough. Startled, Phil looked up at him, only inches away from his face. They froze. In an attempt to erase the growing silence Dan continued to fake cough/sneeze and Phil's face stretched into a warm but uncertain smile " Are you all right? You don't think your pneumonia is getting worse do you?"

"No, I'm fine, it think it's just a bit dusty"

Phil shifted slightly and the cables rolled off the bed and into an even more complicated heap.

"Ugh I should do a roast myself, look what I've done, I'm always breaking things"

"You're too adorable to roast." Dan winced, wondering if Phil had noticed that he'd called him adorable again. He hastily continued so that his slip up wouldn't hang in the air "Being clumsy isn't the worst of traits you could have. What else would you even say?"

"I'm a renowned cactus killer and I steal all your cereal"

"Wow Phil, those are some deep repressed flaws you have there" Dan did that side smile he always did when he was being sarcastic and Phil was taken aback at how much he loved him. It hurt. He did have secrets, secrets even Dan didn't know, namely because one of them was the fact that ever since Dan had contacted him on a rainy day in Manchester, he'd known that he'd loved him. It was stupid and cheesey he knew but he couldn't help it. Eyes stormy and voice quivering he looked at Dan with an intensity he'd never experienced before.

"Well, everyone knows that people only watch me because of you and you're so much cooler and I'm getting too old for this and you're better looking…" Phil bit his lip and stared at the floor, denying the tears that threatened to make an appearance. He couldn't tell him. He didn't think he could ever tell him.

Shocked, angry, confused, Dan rose to his feet and shook Phil by the shoulders, his words spilling uncontrollably. "What the hell are you talking about? I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for you, Phil, I wake up everyday happy and do you know why? It's because of you, you idiot. You are the funniest, kindest, most creative person I will ever know and so what if others don't see that, I see that, okay? You create Internet-breaking tags without even meaning to and on top of that you are extremely sexy and don't let anyone else tell you you're not!"

Silence. Again.

"Thanks Dan"

"No problem"

"Wait did you just call me sexy?"


End file.
